Fleas don't bite most people
But they are ravenous for my flesh
We came upon those boiling stone pools in the middle of a night
so full of love that I felt it fill the vast space between every particle
The only thing we could see was candlelight shimmering off of the infinite blackness
We sang songs and soaked till dawn
Two fae untethered by gravity
The dawn revealed a raging river just a breath away from where we lay
mimicking the still stone
our bodies begging us for more of everything this place is
We couldn't have left, but somehow we did.
We crept away slowly towards the next adventure
The car died while still running
A worn-out clutch plate held us still as if to say
You will never truly leave this place
No reception. Radio Static. Forever Ecstatic waiting for someone to save our bodies
(our souls were still soaking)
A truck came, A soft, round, drunk man, On his way to clean gravestones.
He tethers us to the ancient ford
The rope is so short. He tells us to keep the brakes engaged always.
He pulls too fast, 60 around gravel corners
It starts raining. To this day I’ve never seen rain like that
The line slips. He doesn't notice. He disappears into the monsoon
We sit alone hoping he comes back
He does. The rain continues blinding us
So fast. Breaks always. Dragged around corners.
We are certain death is near.
Taught line, keep that taught line, please don’t die, mutha fuckin taught line. Oh taught line.
Spoiler. We lived.
We keep wondering why we ever left
A tow truck takes us the last 50 clicks
He knows a backyard mechanic
We go to him praying for affordable repairs
He obliged us and let us crash at his place
We still have time to make it to our ferry to Haida Gwaii
It’s just a hiccup.
Three days go by, he’s not done fixing the car
The beauty of those pools is wearing off
Anxiety creeps in
Our mechanic host drinks energy drinks constantly
We sit on his couch and watch bad movies on VHS
There are kittens everywhere
They all have fleas
A bad amount of fleas
By day four my entire body is covered in flea bite welts
We watch a big scary dog kill kittens whenever they wander into his zone
The mechanic says this is totally normal on the reservation
I have my reservations
Finally, day five comes, and he is done
We leave the flea zone and rescue a kitten for good measure
Our rescue feels like she has air bubbles under her skin
The stick shift is hard to move, doesn't feel right
Must be the new clutch plate. It has to be worn in right?
We get 2 min down the road….
We go to a NON-backyard mechanic
They are still open for one hour, and they can fix the tire
We will just barely make our ferry.
I ask them to check the clutch plate because the shifter is hard to use
The shop owner comes back 10 minutes later
Your transmission is open two inches, and it’s missing half the bolts
Our hearts collapse
Its Friday and they can’t fix it until Monday.
Our ferry is on Saturday
We call BC Ferries, and they let us change our ferry for free
Everything is gonna be okay
Our car is fixed. we're back in business
My flea welts are slightly improved, but only slightly
The kitten is safe at the SPCA
We drive all night to make sure we are early for our ferry
We arrive before dawn at the terminal and drive up to the loading docks
We get on the ferry and decide to get a cabin to rest and recover from fleas
We are on our way. everything is great. honeymoon resumed.
The phone rings 20min after the boat departs
“Is this Mr. Smeele?”
“You’re on the wrong ferry”
Instead of putting us on the Haida Gwaii ferry, we were now on the “inside passage” ferry
A 16-hour ferry for rich tourists that goes down the entire coast of bc from Prince Rupert to Vancouver Island
This is 100% Bc Ferries Fault
This is 100% actually pretty awesome
Free Food, Free Alcohol, Best Cabin on the boat, Gorgeous Ferry trip down the whole coast
And a ferry trip back up the other direction plus hotels and restaurants on Vancouver Island and Prince Rupert when we get back.
And the accommodations from Haida Gwaii that we miss are paid for also.
All on BC Ferries
Best of all instead of sea kayaking in salt water with horrible flea welts I'm now drinking champagne in a private cabin.
Honeymoon upgraded courtesy of BC Ferries
We finally get to Haida Gwaii
My flea wounds are nearly gone
We hop in our tandem sea kayak
And go live on beautiful tiny moss islands for two weeks
Didn’t see another human being
I want to do it all again.